Brian's Review - Transformers 12: Transformers in Time!!!

If this movie was a girl, I'd totally take her to prom!!!

Released: 2012
Genre(s): Action, Michael Bay, EXPLOSIONS!!

Holy crap!! I've seen a lot of movies in my life, but Michael Bay just might have outdone himself! I mean, the guy is an effing genius: he puts more explosions into every movie than Jesus!! He's the film equivalent of Criss Angel - dark, brooding, and definitely magic! Mikey's most recent flick "Transformers 12: Transformers in Time!!!" had so many EXPLOSIONS in it that I totally didn't care about the story or character development AT ALL!! If you love explosions like I do, then you will need to bring at least two adult diapers with you if you plan on seeing this, because IT WILL ROCK EVERYTHING STRAIGHT OUT OF YOUR BOWELS!! Mike has packed some awesome robot dinosaurs that shoot beams when they roar into this movie, and it's up to the heroes to stop them (SPOILER ALERT: or maybe make friends with them?!)!! I think it's cool how time played a factor in this movie, because if it was based in just one time period then there wouldn't be enough epic set pieces and plot devices to really make this movie shine!! There are some heartwarming moments that made me cry a lot, but they were happy tears, because the acting is so good! LOL!! The graphics in this one are awesome too and are all hand-drawn with coal by small children in Cambodia!! Michael explained the reason they moved from 3D back to the classic 2D-style is due to the profit margin for the last two films being way, way, WAY too small to afford more than four summer homes at once!! The best feature of this movie series though is its undeniable and unlimited potential for sequels!! The ending of "Tranformers 12: Transformers in Time!!!" is such a cliff-hanger, so we all know there will be a "Transformers 13" and that's just more awesome than a fat bus rolling into Cannibal Town! Rumor has it that the sequel will maybe take place in the jungle, or somewhere in the desert, or in a populated city, or MAYBE EVEN IN SPACE!! I'm so excited that I just peed and threw up AT THE SAME TIME!!! Anyway, on a serious note, you need to go see this movie, because it'll TRANSFORM your heart (I put that in caps so everyone could tell what I did there)!!

Rating (out of 5): Higher than God can count!!