Brian's Review - The Thing (2011)

1982's original was something. 2011's prequel is nothing.

Released: 2011
Genre(s): Horror, Thiller, Sci-Fi

When John Carpenter released "The Thing" in 1982, it's combination of bizarre animatronic magic and nail-bitingly tense atmosphere was unsettling and jarring enough to generate a cult following of significant magnitude that still exists today. As an avid Carpenter fan, my enthusiasm for the 2011 prequel was mixed: would this movie be able to harness the same sheer, terrified energy caused by the unknown assailant from the original, or would Hollywood glam it up into a cheap, street-walking version of its former self? The answer is unfortunate, with "The Thing" of 2011 coming off as more of a soulless echo of the epic creature feature it could have been. Gone is the focus on suspense that made Carpenter's version, and Ridley Scott's "Alien" before it, so intense – no longer do we watch the characters carefully and meticulously explore their once-secure base, expecting horror around every corner, and no longer do said paranoid fixations cause them to unravel and implode; in reality, the characters in this iteration are almost as devoid of emotion as the creature itself. What we do get is plenty of in-your-face, close encounters with the alien, but it does less stalking of the survivors to build satisfying dread, and more brutal evisceration and mutilation. One might expect that this approach would yield more visceral, white-knuckle action sequences to make up for the lack of effectively chilling ambiance, but instead we're served a big, boring platter of dull, gray hack-and-slash. Even the CGI here is inconsistent - one moment, the effects appear lifelike and bold, the next, they become clumsy and ham-fisted, allowing even the outdated special effects of 1999's "The Mummy" to make them look like an elementary school art project. While the events that unfold during the end credits are a surprisingly bright light in this massive pool of sludge, the "too little, too late" rule applies here: ultimately, this "The Thing" is an ugly, plodding mess of slime, and unfortunately, I'm not just referring to the monster.

Rating (out of 5): 2