Where do I even begin...
Want to be a successful film maker? Here's a formula for you: Step 1) find a crappy but easily marketable script 2)make sure there's plenty of cheesy dialogue 3) hire terrible actors to be the star 4) pay good actors large sums for minor bit roles 5) ignore everything else and fill the movie with tons of CG special effects; the more explosions the better. This is the Michael Bay formula.
The third movie in Michael Bay's adaptation of the retro 80s cartoon follows the exact same formula as the first two. Besides a few new characters there's nothing new or innovative in the third iteration.
The plot was jumbled and incoherent. During the first half the action seemed to come in sporadic bursts, the gaps filled by poorly written and even more poorly executed dialogue.
The dialogue is so bad that not even the best actor in Hollywood could have made the lines believable or sincere; there was little hope for Shia LaBeouf. John Turturro reprises his role as "Agent Simmons". While Turturro is one of my favorite actors he does little to lift this movie from the dregs of Hollywood's sewers. John Malkovich makes a surprising cameo as LaBeouf's eccentric boss. Malkovich plays his role perfectly and provides some much needed comedic spark from an otherwise stale cast.
I feel legitamtely less intelligent after watching this film. Bay seems to committed to making each film significantly worse than the last. When (not if) the fourth film is released I fear it may legitimately kill brain cells. If you really, really enjoy explosions and seizure inducing special effects this may be the film for you. If you enjoy plot, dialogue and/or good acting you may want to skip this one.
Of course, Michael Bay gets the last laugh as he counts his millions of dollars: *1.5 of 5*
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