Brian's Review - The Illusionist (2010)

A magic show you won't want to end.

Released: 2010
Genre(s): Animation, Drama, Comedy

With the exception of Disney/Pixar films, animation movies these days tend to pander to children and those looking for a quick, juvenile comedy fix. While "The Illusionist" is undoubtedly funny at times, this is far from a kids' movie: there are no raucous jokes, or loud chase scenes, or explosions of any sort. Rather, the humor is quietly charming, the action sequences are replaced by gentle, living backgrounds, and overdone dialogue has taken a backseat to simple, human interaction. In fact, not since the first half of "WALL-E" has an animated film managed to speak this much to me without any true spoken dialogue taking place at all. Speaking is instead replaced by incredibly detailed body language and an intoxicating soundtrack - a combination that manages to convey emotion in every footstep and every beat. The animation itself is like watching a gorgeous watercolor painting spring to life, and the characters' movements seem especially lifelike. The subtle beauty of this movie is absolutely heartwarming at times, and heartrending at others - there's a true feeling of bittersweet charm pervading throughout the entire film, and only those willing to deal with the occasional pang of melancholy will truly understand how to appreciate the moments of brilliant joy "The Illusionist" brings to the table. Quaint, quiet, and careful, "The Illusionist" is easily one of the best films I've seen in a long, long time, and I cannot recommend it highly enough to those seeking something a little deeper in their animation viewings.

Rating (out of 5): 5

Brian's Review - Catfish

Authentic or not, this is one film you'll want to catch.

Released: 2010
Genre(s): Documentary

“Catfish” is an incredibly deep documentary (although its authenticity is questioned) that delves into the darkest parts of human neuroses. The sinister undertone of the film creeps to the forefront of the movie quickly, and refuses to give an inch of relief – especially when one remembers that these are very real and very possible scenarios. Strangely intriguing, and surprisingly emotional, “Catfish” explores the essential aspects that make us human: life, love, and friendship, as well as the things that drive us to seek them in desperation. A very introspective experience that reminds us to appreciate those friends and relationships we sometimes take for granted. Whether you believe that this is a true story or not, the emotional roller coaster this movie will send you on is incredibly real.

Rating (out of 5): 5

Brian's Review - Jack Goes Boating

I hope you can swim.

Released: 2010
Genre(s): Drama, Romance, Comedy

At times dry, at other times endearing, "Jack Goes Boating" is an incredibly slow-paced trip through two couples' attempts at bending and breaking within a relationship. While a sprinkling of light-hearted humor can be found among the believably-awkward and human dialogue, this film mostly presents its ideas against an incredibly bleak, somber background. The acting is good - rock solid in fact - but despite the very flawed main character's attempts at finding a "positive vibe," the drab atmosphere makes this movie feel a bit too mundane, despite a last minute attempt at true emotional clarity and explosion during a far from fulfilling ending. Regardless of all of its shortcomings, Philip Seymour Hoffman proves that he's still got it as an actor, and at least knows how to create something brooding and heavy as a director. If you like your movies slow and can patiently wait for a lackluster climax, then "Jack Goes Boating" is worth at least a single viewing.

Rating (out of 5): 2.5

Brian's Review - Mars Needs Moms

Maybe even a few dads.

Released: 2011
Genre(s): Animation, Action, Adventure

If you like your kids' movies heavy on the special effects and light on the storytelling, then "Mars Needs Moms" will be perfect. The animation is beautiful, there are plenty of chuckle-worthy moments, action sequences abound, and it's filled to the brim with feel-good, family morals. The problem isn't with the presentation of this movie - it's with the fact that the story is just so paper-thin and lackluster that it lacks any real sense of urgency or purpose. While other movies in this genre really get you to emotionally invest in what's happening, "Mars Needs Moms" manages to fabricate a story that's passable at best. Still heart-warming enough to warrant at least a watch, especially if you've got little ones who enjoy flashy effects.

Rating (out of 5): 3

Brian's Review - Ong Bak 2: The Beginning

Ong Bak 2: The Face Kicking.

Released: 2008
Genre(s): Action

Despite calling itself a "prequel," in reality, "Ong Bak 2: The Beginning" has absolutely nothing to do with the original. True, Tony Jaa goes around kicking people in the face in a wild, jaw-dropping (and jaw-shattering) manner, but the lack of any coherent or real plot means this views more like a giant showcase of Jaa's talents, as opposed to a story worth investing any real interest in. As a martial artist myself, I do have to commend Jaa for having some serious prowess in a large variety of fighting styles - his proficiency in weapons is especially focused on in this iteration. However, it may be due to the increased production value, or the incomprehensible situations Jaa's character is placed in that makes the action in this entry feel less visceral than in the first film. Don't get me wrong - Jaa still kicks all sorts of ass, but in a manner that doesn't seem as brutally-efficient as in "Ong Bak: The Thai Warrior." Still, the action is unrelenting and fun, playing out in a manner similar to Jackie Chan's "Drunken Master" series, or Jet Li's "Fearless." Martial arts fans should definitely check this one out, although those who enjoy more story than intense fight choreography and stunts probably won't be missing much.

Rating (out of 5): 3

Brian's Review - L.A. Confidential

L.A. Awesome.

Released: 1997
Genre(s): Mystery, Drama, Action

"L.A. Confidential" plays out like an old-school noir, but also manages to harness a timeless feel, through its utilization of cynical wit, brooding characters, and explosive action. The storyline spirals wildly from one conspiracy-laden plot element to another, and the end result is thoroughly enjoyable. The acting is well-done, the characters coming across as believably hard-boiled, but flawed and human enough to make you really grit your teeth and root for them during the various action sequences. This isn't just a great detective movie, and isn't just a great thriller - it's a great film, and should be enjoyed as an immensely well-told story by all.

Rating (out of 5): 4.5

Brian's Review - I Can See You

I can see you...not ever wanting to see this again.

Released: 2008
Genre(s): Thriller, Mystery

Very rarely do I watch a movie and immediately wish I could unsee it. Very rarely do I watch a movie and immediately wish I had a time machine to warp to a time period where said movie does not exist. These thoughts were immediately evoked not only at the conclusion of "I Can See You," but at various points throughout its duration. Bringing a whole new level of artsy nonsense to the world of indie thrillers, "I Can See You" finds the most thoroughly illogical imagery and symbolism available and rolls around in it until completely coated. Calling it a "thriller" at all is a bit misleading as well, as most of this movie attempts to build suspense simply by splicing random images into slow, plodding scenes that serve as nothing more than empty vehicles for said random images. Character development doesn't exist on any level here, so actually caring about what the characters are doing or saying becomes completely unnecessary. Dialogue is wooden, dry, and hollow - the characters' reactions to each other are so stiff and unrealistic that this plays out more like an amateur college film project than anything else. Is it different? Yes. Is it good? Incredibly debatable, but my answer lands on a solid "No." While I'm sure the director/writer had some sort of symbolic, hidden message in this Gulf-oil-spill of a movie, the whole experience feels like it's just trying too damn hard to push itself outside of people's comfort zones - David Lynch this is most certainly not. If you're a big fan of abrasive, atonal music cropping up at random times, then you may be able to find some sort of enjoyment out of this experience. As an added bonus for any idiots who only watch thriller-type movies for potential nudity and gore, there are two shots of a woman's breasts and two instances of mild gore here. Everyone else can avoid this like the blackest of black plagues.

Rating (out of 5): 1

Brian's Review - Punch-Drunk Love

Very heavy on the "punch-drunk" and not so much on the "love."

Released: 2002
Genre(s): Drama, Romance

Calling "Punch-Drunk Love" an "unconventional love story" would be the biggest understatement of the century. The madness that ensues feels like the offspring of a romantic indie film and a David Lynch movie after a drunken and drugged one-night stand. Adam Sandler is surprisingly refreshing in a role that demands more from him than ripping fart jokes every four seconds - despite playing a character that is an emotional recluse and loose-cannon all in one, Sandler handles both ends of the spectrum beautifully. The neuroses of his character grate on the nerves a bit, as they're initially unrelenting, but it's nice to see him evolve over the course of the movie. Unfortunately, any true insight you might try to glean from this film is lost in the convoluted mess of nonsensical storytelling and cinematography. Add in the most abrasive "soundtrack" (and I use the term loosely) I've ever heard, and you've got something very, VERY different. Still fun enough to be worth at least one ride, if you can bear venturing into the realm of the weird.

Rating (out of 5): 3

Brian's Review - The Ceremony (2008)

Attending this ceremony is a must for horror fans.

Released: 2008
Genre(s): Horror, Thriller

Low-budget horror/thrillers seem to multiply like rabbits every year, and much like rabbits, many of them kill themselves by doing stupid things. "The Ceremony" is not one of the stupid ones. With an extremely small cast comprised of unknowns and some bare-bones special effects, this film managed to give me chills that many big budget horror movies haven't even come close to producing. While "The Ceremony" doesn't reinvent the haunted house genre by any stretch, the scares it offers are so emotionally taxing and deeply cerebral that I felt a physical lump form in my throat as I experienced the gripping fear the main character underwent during this film. The psychological and atmospheric horror this movie exudes wreaks mental havoc on a scale that far surpasses what a thousand cheap jump-scares could. Even the film's music - which is used incredibly sparingly - strikes with perfect timing and creeps straight up the spine. An incredibly simple, straightforward experience that serves as an almost perfect formula for genuine horror. A must-watch for fans of the genre.

Rating (out of 5): 4.5

Brian's Review - Waiting for Forever

You can wait to watch this one. For forever.

Released: 2010
Genre(s): Romance, Drama

"Waiting for Forever" is an outrageous romantic movie - not outrageous because it's hilarious or so wonderful that it takes your breath away, but outrageous because of how unbelievably oblivious it is to the real world. Will, the main character, while generally quirky and carefree in nature, actually comes off as more of a creepy, obsessive type with severe mental issues. There are a handful of genuinely endearing moments here, but most of the emotional reactions to Will's erratic behavior come off as completely wooden. The movie's subplots attempt to present some deeper emotional issues behind the characters, but are so paper-thin and contrived that the end results feel rushed and unnatural - any growth by the characters is so minuscule that it's incredibly difficult to even notice (or care about, for that matter). Weak characters, weak storylines, and unrealistic reactions make this one fall flat.

Rating (out of 5): 1.5

Brian's Review - Black Swan

This is one dance you don't want to miss.

Released: 2010
Genre(s): Thriller, Mystery, Drama

“Black Swan” is equal parts disturbing and mesmerizing, a rubber-necker's dream come true – like a car crash or an explosion, it manages to captivate the morbid-curiosity of all within range. A familiar tale (for those who know of ballet's “Swan Lake”), punctuated by a relentless feeling of dread and despair. The menacing overtone of the movie is almost overwhelming at times, like a throbbing headache, or an upset stomach, which kept me at the edge of my seat for the entire duration. Watching this film, I found myself always expecting the worst – scare-factor and gore-wise – a technique Darren Aronofsky utilizes perfectly. Brief moments of relief pepper the frantic and unnerving plot, only to set up the viewer for another startling and twisted shift in tone; it is this push-pull dynamic that makes “Black Swan” so hypnotizing. A haunting musical score, and stellar acting ensemble, led by an amazingly believable Natalie Portman, round out this film brilliantly. Overall, an incredibly unsettling experience, “Black Swan” manages to sink straight into your bones, and is as hard to shake as a bad dream – although I doubt you'll want to (or be able to) sleep through this one.

Rating (out of 5): 5

Brian's Review - Vigilante (1983)

Revenge always looked the coolest in the '80s.

Released: 1983
Genre(s): Crime, Action

As far as '80s action movies go, "Vigilante" is definitely not the worst I've seen. One of a plethora of revenge movies that came out during the era, this one actually doesn't make you scratch your head too much - the characters are fun, realistic, and although they're a little bloodthirsty, they all possess at least a little something resembling logic. Anyone who enjoys a good chase scene to a pulsing synth track, followed by a brutal, extreme justice-style beat down will get a kick out of "Vigilante," as a majority of the movie follows this formula. Sure, it's not deep, nor clever in any sort of way, but for a quick, wild, dirty '80s romp, you really can't hate on it.

Rating (out of 5): 3.5

Brian's Review - The Baby's Room

Not actually about babies.

Released: 2006
Genre(s): Horror, Thriller, Mystery

From the Spanish collection "6 Films to Keep You Awake" (think the Spanish version of "After Dark Horrorfest's 8 Films to Die For" series of movies), "The Baby's Room" focuses more on genuine, spine-chilling creep factor than big budget effects. This movie proves to be an enjoyable and tense look at a family man's quest to keep his loved ones safe from a sinister force threatening them. The movie keeps you guessing whether the nightmare he faces is all in his head, otherworldly haunts, or something else entirely. While the movie is completely in Spanish, the subtitles take little, if anything, anyway from the sheer terror the protagonist grapples with. A heavy, yet anxious atmosphere keeps this one interesting all the way through the final moments. For those of you who were fans of "Insidious," I highly recommend checking out this one.

Rating (out of 5): 4

Brian's Review - The Woman in Black (2012)

This haunted house only looks the same on the outside.

Released: 2012
Genre(s): Horror

It's true that haunted house movies are a dime a dozen within the horror genre. While a timeless idea, most modern representations are stale, flavorless, and recycled. Ghosts are not a new addition to this formula. Old, dead women wearing black are not either, for that matter. Somehow, despite utilizing these same, overly-familiar elements, "The Woman in Black" pulls off a very refreshing - and incredibly creepy - presentation of all the things that made us sleep with nightlights on as children. Unfortunately, I have never had the pleasure of seeing the original, made-for-TV movie from 1989 that this film is supposedly a remake of. However, it's my most sincere of hopes that it sets up an atmosphere as bleak and hopeless as the 2012 version does right from the start. This gray negativity only gets heavier as the film progresses - there are some genuinely dark and twisted plot developments here that push the film well into the realm of disturbing. While "The Woman in Black" relies a little too heavily on some cheap jump-scares in the beginning, the true genius of this film lies in its continued mounting tension - half the time I found myself so anxious from the anticipation of a potential scare that I ended up psyching myself out. However, as more and more of the story unfolded, the terror became more cerebral, bringing with it the familiar spine-chilling, yet equally exciting, feeling only a really good horror movie generates. The acting is solid by the entire cast; in fact, I completely dismissed Daniel Radcliffe's association with Harry Potter for the duration of the film. Good acting, a story that's not overdone or over-explained (which would otherwise eliminate any fear of the unknown), and some truly nail-biting scares: yes, it may not be completely original, but as far as haunted house titles go, this is one you can't miss.

Rating (out of 5): 4

Brian's Review - Masters of Horror: Incident On and Off a Mountain Road

A decent drive.

Released: 2005
Genre(s): Horror, Thriller

The "Masters of Horror" television series was created for Showtime by a collaboration of the horror/thriller industry's heaviest hitters. Occasionally enjoyable, sometimes frightening, and even good for a quick laugh now and then, the series embodied the quick and dirty style of modern horror/thriller offerings. While technically a television spot, in truth each "episode" was actually an hour long, made-for-TV movie. Because of this, I've decided to review each as an individual film.

"Incident On and Off a Mountain Road" is actually the first episode of the series, and was created by horror legend Don Coscarelli (known for such horror gems as the "Phantasm" series and "Bubba Ho-Tep"). The story is more or less a cookie-cutter survival-horror story about a young woman's attempts at evading and defeating a rather large, disfigured serial killer by the name of Moonface. There's a true sense of frantic anxiety during many of the chase sequences, but unfortunately any real terror is lost due to the frequent flashback sequences interjected between many of the action scenes. When the setting moves to Moonface's murder shack, a very unsettling - and morbidly comical - performance by the great Angus Scrimm increases the creepiness of the film. There's a somewhat unexpected twist thrown into the movie's plot as well that connects everything nicely, but this honestly didn't view as a typical Coscarelli film to me, and lacked the quality that made me love the "Phantasm" movies so much. Still, a great intro to the "Masters of Horror" series, and definitely worth a quick watch if you've got an hour to spare.

Rating (out of 5): 3